Yep, I am expecting, don't you know?!! The thing is, I am nine months along now (from referral that is!) and not a lot of people know it!! Oh, and did I tell you, I am not expecting my own flesh and blood children, but it does not matter. I already love them like they did come from my womb. Is that weird?!! Well, lets put it this way.
We started this adoption process 21 months ago!! We were referred these two precious children nine months ago. A mother who delivers a child from her womb has nine months to become attached and to love the child(ren) that is growing within them. We have had nine months to grow attached to these children and have watched them grow through pictures, not to mention actually meeting them and loving them in that short time changed our hearts forever!!
You see, I watched my sister-in-law go through a shocking surprise when they learned she was pregnant and then she changed as her belly grew with the baby inside her her love for the unborn baby deepening with time. I watched, and was right there with others, asking questions about her baby and how she was doing, feeling, holding up!! I was excited for her and their family not just because this would be a new Crawford family member, but because I care for her and her family!!! I was excited too (and still am!!!)
It's been so interesting how I would be in a room (sometimes with very close family / friends) and we would be talking about Jeanie and her baby and not a thing would be mentioned about our two new children that will be added to our family. Look, I am not looking for any kind of attention or special treatment or do I want it!!!!! I have just found our expectancy so different than my other children this time around. I can hear it already, "Well, what do you think? They are not yours!!" They aren't?!! Yes, they are because God is the creator of these children just like my children that came from my womb! Yes, they are our children because I feel very strongly that is what God wants. I never ever imagined we would be adding to our family such as this, but we were moved. Need I say more?!!
So, why do I feel such a hesitancy around family and friends to mention these beloved children, (or show any care for them) that will soon be added to our family? They are already a part of our family!! You come to our house and spend any time here and you will understand!! We talk about Eden and Bereket a LOT!! Is it JUST because they are not from my womb?!!! Does that somehow make them so different? Is it because they somehow have a lesser chance of turning out? There is no guarantee that our children in our home will turn out!! Genetics?!! There is no guarantee that our children by birth will not inherit very bad genetics!!! Yet, it is just almost like people feel like they have to whisper that we are ADOPTING!! I just have to say, I have found it most interesting observing, which I do a lot of and have done a lot of observing through losing our precious daughter as well!! Can I say, I really wonder?!!
I'll add this to my Monday Madness Topics!! HA!!
May I add, I know VERY few people who would even dare to comment on this post!!
ANGELA
13 comments:
Oh we are so glad to know you are adopting and so happy ... I love adoption stories!!! No we are not guaranteed that birth children will turn "out" nor is it a fact that adoptive children are bad!!!! Bless your hearts for opening them up to these precious little ones!!!! (I love to read about your labor and delievery of these two!)
You don't even know me...although we know some of the same people... I have enjoyed reading about your adoption journey and look forward to when you finally get to bring them home. Adopting from another country is something I've always been interested in but it just hasn't "happened" for us. Wishing you and all of your family the absolute best.
you go girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love to check the blog everday to see if your "expected" children can come home! I firmly beleive that if you treat them as your own children then they will be your own children. I think you should have the blog printed so that when they are going through their teen years and question everything, you can let them read how much you wanted them and waited for them to come home. I cant wait for your news!
I agree with you!! It may be a subject for others to get used to, but afterwhile, they forget and you, that the kids were even adopted. I mean, who cares that their mom and dad couldn't take care of them (that sounds harsh) point is, is that they have a family waiting over here to take care of them and love them like they have never felt before. But just remember, when you get them home, people will be there to support you and there will be excitment etc!! :) Can't wait to see more pics!
Yes, as with so many things in life, if someone hasn't walked that particular path, they don't always know what to say or how to say it, you know? Adoption is a unique journey (and then each adoption journey is different) and I think many people just aren't sure what to say so it comes across as indifference. We all learn from each other...especially in unique circumstances. Your life experience has included things that most of us will never know or understand...including losing Kohlie and adopting Eden & Bereket. Keep sharing...we all learn through your openness. Hugs & love & prayers for this waiting time to pass quickly.
I have loved following your blog and because of that I know a little about your family and what you have gone through with the loss of a child and now the joys of adopting two children. I look every day hoping to see a note that states you are on the way to pick up those who dear children and will be bring them home. They will have a forever home and what a lovely home and family they will be a part of.
Very happy for you to be adding some new children into your family and know how lucky these dear children will be to have the opportunity to grow up knowing truth.
As Katrina says when she looks at your blog with me ... WHEN ARE THEY COMING?" You can picture her being exasperated that they haven't arrived yet! I'm sure you feel that and more ... we are so looking forward to meeting them and we don't even know when that will be AFTER they come home to your place. HUGS!
Amen! You said it way better than I could've.
Isn't it interesting how you can feel that something is 'missing' still and then somehow someway that missing part just drops into place and it just feels right? Does that make sense? There just seems to be a reassurance from God that this is what's right, so glad you have that reassurance. I sure hope you get your kids soon!! And do enjoy reading your updates.
We know the feelings you are writing all to well!! There really are no words for a 'adopting mommy' waiting... waiting... waiting. People mean well also but do not understand what has been laid on your heart about these kids unless they have gone through this.
Loved this post, Ang. And good for you for sharing! Love ya all and can't wait to meet your two new ones!
Is it bad that I laughed out loud after reading this and said, you go girl!!!! I'm proud of you for writing this, getting your feelings out there, completely understandable even tho I have never been through adoption, but it's been in on our hearts for a while now... Your life experiences have made you be able to empathize on so many levels, now including adoption. You are a special woman with a big heart. Hoping you can be a family under one roof soon! xoxo
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