Not Good News

Where to start on this post?!!  First, I want to thank everyone that left comments from my last, outspoken post!!  I really appreciate them and love the support I feel from them!!

This post is going to be especially hard to write after my last!!  I have been trying to figure out how to break the news.  Please  respect and understand that this is very hard for me. 

Yesterday I checked my e-mail in the wee early morning hour, because that is when I get mail from the embassy because of the time difference.  Sure enough, there it was, but from someone different at embassy.  As I read the e-mail my mouth dropped open and I was filled with disbelief and stunned silence, except on this rare morning (because of the rainy weather, how fitting!!) my hubby was still home!!  "Cade, come sit down and read this!!"  I demanded him!

Embassy had indeed been doing their own investigation, looking for Bereket's birth mother (B.) but they did NOT find her!  When they were in her region some of the locals asked their investigators if they wanted to meet Bereket birth father (D.)!!  Of course they would!!!  D.'s story came out as a huge contrast to what B.'s story was/is.  My first gut feeling when I read some of D.'s story to the investigator's was that he is lying and trying to cause upheaval and trouble for B. now that she is trying to move on with her life!!  Really, there are parts of his story that I can't believe any one would believe, not to mention that he said he was her husband!!  B. said that they were not married and that she was shunned because of being pregnant out of wedlock, not to mention that D. denied any responsibility of Bereket.  This is proof that he was lying, because our agency has record that they were not married.  Of course, because of cultural differences, this could be disproved I suppose.

The bottom line is that after nine months from Bereket's referral, D. says he really cares about his son and wants him back!!  So, after all this time and all the work that B. has put in appearing at court to legally give up her son, her counseling sessions, her visiting Bereket at the orphanage, and finally meeting us, (which we could clearly witness that she DOES love her son, but wants a better life for him) D. decides to "show up" and say that he wants his son back!!  Our agency and agency's representatives in ET are all stunned as we are!!  The representatives who have worked very hard and closely in ET on our case do not believe D.'s story either, or that he cares for Bereket, sadly!!

Now our whole case has been blown up!!  I personally wrote a letter to the embassy telling them very matter-of-factly the events that have led up to this point, reminding them that his story is quite a contrast from B.'s story.  If embassy thoroughly reviewed the case, they should know that.  I also told them I understood that they had a hard job and that was to make sure the child is truly an orphan, but the thing that disturbed me very much was the fact that D. tells his story (after ample time of "showing up") and they quickly make a decision without regarding the story that B. has been telling!!  Anyway, my letter won approval from our ET coordinator and the director of Illien, as well as Tsedey, one of the reps in ET!!  

That didn't seem to matter much, though, because this morning I had a new e-mail from embassy saying that while they sympathized with us, they are only doing their legal job, because they have reason to believe that Bereket may not be an orphan (from D's story) and that they are not trying to take sides or prove his motive.  Problem is, embassy is not actually legally doing their job.  You only have to prove that the child is over 55% surely an orphan (ET law) and that proof is already in the pudding from our agency!!

Enough already!  One thing that I had hoped was that our adoption story would be one that would be an encouragement to others to step out!!  The truth is, though, this story of Bereket's case is a side of adoption that is very real, even though we hate to think about it!!  We still are legally Bereket's parents in ET.  Embassy just will not approve a U.S. Visa for Berket to come to the USA.  This means that they have moved Bereket's case on to USCIS, which is located in Kenya!!  They are basically sending his case to be further investigated.  We don't really know what will happen next, besides we will not be bringing him home soon!!  Our agency has NEVER dealt with this kind of a situation, so they are making a game plan of steps to take.  We take one day at a time.

Even though Bereket is not in our home yet, he is very much a part of our hearts and lives, as Eden is!!!  We trust in the one who knows all, sees all, and controls all!!  I believe that if he is supposed to be a part of our family, he will!!  However, it is a very tough situation and while I struggle to cope, I can't lose hope!