THIS N' THAT

My blog has really become one of my venting places, where I can just put some of my feelings down.  There are times I think I shouldn't blog about this or that because it's negative, or not anything anyone would enjoy reading, but truth is, sometimes it just doesn't matter!!

Yesterday was a really hard day for me.  You would think that getting the news that we filed for embassy would make me happy and that I could focus on that.  I was happy that we got filed for embassy, but the truth is that I was focusing on the fact that filing for embassy did not help me determine when we would be going to Ethiopia for our children.  Yes, it is one step closer, but at this point, I am sick and tired of all these steps. 

Sometimes I wonder if the system really cares about orphans getting a family and being placed in homes, why doesn't it feel like it?!!  We were told that the people that review our case for embassy don't have any timeline.  It is a matter of WHEN THEY GET TO IT AT THEIR OWN LEISURE!!! 

OK, so maybe they are getting well taken care of at the orphanages, but what does it benefit them in staying there longer than necessary?!!  NOTHING!!  It is common understanding that the older they get and the longer they are there it is harder to adjust to a home life environment.

Maybe, more than anything, it is just that you finally feel like you are on the home stretch and there are so many feelings of anxiousness about how things will work out, not only with the children's adjustment but with traveling to ET and leaving our four here.  Not to mention, it is really hard on my kind of personality, who would like to have everything scheduled in on the calender a month in advance!!

I actually had to apologize to my girls (no, it's not the first time) for being so short tempered and moody Yesterday.  We talked on the way to Yreka about the reasons I could have been acting the way I did, even though it still does not excuse me. 

On another note, Cyrus had a parent /child meeting last night for football.  Today was his first practice.  It is going to be a tough week for him with practice, especially since the weather is so hot still!!  Just to add a little to our "crazy!!"

I am trying to get our last trip to Ethiopia scrap booked for Eden and Bereket's books so that I can have their books caught up, but every time I look at their faces I just ache, wondering when it will be that we will see them again!!