One Year Ago

Sometimes it seems like I am living in the past!!  HA!!  I have been remembering one year ago when we went to Ethiopia for the FIRST time and met Eden and Bereket for the FIRST time!!

I knew on that first trip that our lives would forever be altered.  What I did not know was to what extent.  That I could not begin to fathom or understand.  Meeting Eden and Bereket was something we tried to be prepared for but there was no way we could be really prepared for it.  I am glad to say that both of the children we welcomed gladly into our arms and lives.

It is interesting, though, how I perceived them then and what I saw in their little personalities.  What I did not know is that we were not really seeing their TRUE personalities at that point.  When we met Bereket he was nothing like I had heard of him being.  He was not charming, smiley, or bubbly much at all upon meeting him.  Rightly so, though, because he knew that something was different with this white American couple.  He was subdued, quiet, but yet he was sweet.  

our first look at Mr. B

There was no denying he was worried and trying to figure out what was going on!

 

 

He got more comfortable but still was quiet.

   

love this pict because he so badly was needing the affection but still wasn't sure.

My  heart melted especially since I never expected that so quickly to happen!

Eden was told that we were coming and she was ready to meet us, telling everyone that her "Mom and Dad were coming to see her!"  This gave me great comfort but there is no way that a moment as such would NOT have some awkwardness!!  Poor Eden was trying so hard to be brave and she really was!! She was quiet and then we had the language barrier, although some one was usually near to interpret for us!  I was glad for the balls and things I had tucked in my bad for distractions.  Upon meeting Eden, I thought she was very quiet and shy and yet she appeared to have a level of confidence that I was so happy to see.  

 

Meeting Eden.

My first time holding her.

 I think Eden's eyes say so much in this picture.  "I am not happy (even though I try to be and mostly appear to be) but I am a sad girl who doesn't understand why my aunt who I love very much is giving me to different people who live very far away.  I don't know how to control my future now.  I want to love these people who I am calling Mama and Daddy but I don't know if they will keep me, or if I will be good enough for them.  Truthfully, I didn't know all of that when we met her a year ago, but now I do!  I also know now that her confidence is something it feels like we have been stripping away as we get to know the REAL Eden.  Put yourself in her place and I think it would be the same!!  It feels wrong and sad to me, but we are having to re-program this sweet girl because she has had such strong rejection issues, understandably so!  Eden had also learned to control the things she could as much as possible because there was so much she could not control and she can tell me to this day EVERY SINGLE detail of the day we met her (what I wore, said, etc) to when she stepped off the plane in America!!  That was also another way she was protecting herself.  She had learned that she could not trust adults and that she had to protect and watch out for herself. 

As for Bereket, he had spent so much time in his bed and had / has a lot of rejection issues as well.  We didn't know this at the time we met him although we had our eyes opened to the fact that there were way too many babies to nannies / care providers!!  I thought it was a positive thing that Bereket was not strong willed (he had more of a laid back personality) when we watched him and he didn't care if his toy was snatched away like most 2 year olds.  Now I understand that he had learned that it didn't matter if he protested because he wouldn't be heard.  The thing that he learned that got him the most attention was to charm people with his smiles and funny character!!  The white people noticed that!  This is what fed his attention.

AND NOW~~

love this picture because of Eden's eyes.  They absolutely radiate happiness!!

Happy, sweet girl!!  My, how far she has come!!!

Such a HAPPY boy with his family!!

Never a dull moment with little B!! 

 It has been good for me to look through these pictures and be reminded of how far these two have come!!!  SOOO happy to have them becoming more and more a part of our family every day!!  I am also happy to say that Eden is making real progress with her "fear moments!!"  I am also glad that we were moved to adopt, although I can say that there was NO way we could know what we were getting into!!!