No More HoneyMoon

The honeymoon phase is clearly over, folks!!  Yep, that is the sweet time after our "newbies" have arrived.  The last week has been one of the hardest yet, not that I am too surprised with some things / changes that we have been going through.  The kids here at home are not as sweet and patient with Eden and Bereket and I like to believe that Eden and Bereket are becoming more comfortable in our family!

Please don't be judgmental because instead of cleaning my house (which clearly needs it!!) I am sitting at the computer posting on my blog.  Instead of being with my kiddos (they are all awake) I am sitting here posting.  Instead of cooking dinner (I called in pizza for my hubs to pick up) I am blogging.  Instead of packing for our trip next week (it takes a lot of preparation to get a family of eight out the door for a week vacation) I am venting here on my blog.  The truth is, I need to vent.

I knew hard days were to come but never could I fully understand what we would be dealing with after Eden and Bereket came home.  I did a lot of reading but there was no way I could grasp how challenging adopting an older child would be.  Please don't misunderstand me, because I can't imagine them now NOT being in our home!!!  

See, the thing is, Eden is not a troublesome child.  She appears quiet, very well behaved, cheerful, and loving.  Everyone looking on says, "Well, she is adjusting so well!!"  What we are finding out is that SOME of this is most definitely a front because of some of her fears that are within her little heart (the root of them all right now seems to be that if she gets in trouble that she will be sent back to ET).  While we are trying to help her with her fears (we have had many, many talks with her),  she still sometimes gets so anxious that she is not even able to talk!  She will actually "freeze up" for reasons that are not always apparent to us, such as last night when Cade asked her if she wanted a cookie.  She would not answer.  We both believed she clearly wanted a cookie.  Anyway,.... I find I am always double guessing everything.  I am trying to understand my daughter (and son) and just when we think we are making huge strides, we take six steps back.  Today, for instance, Eden was anxious and when she gets anxious it inhibits her thinking process, so everything is difficult!!!  The running tactic did not work as well for Eden today.  She was not using it to her benefit!  (Do you think it was because it was raining and not quite as pleasant?)  Most possibly.

Even though Bereket has only been home for two months, he seems to also be showing more of his true colors.  Maybe it is because he is younger and does not have as much baggage history.  He can be very stubborn at times.  We still are spending SO much time feeding him and honestly, my patience runs thin because he can chew one the same mouthful for a very long time!!  Then, we think, "Well, at least he is chewing now."   Yesterday Bereket was playing after his meal and he threw up in the toy box.  Yep, all over the toys!!  I was quite surprised, thinking maybe he had a stomach virus but he had not been acting ill.  I wondered if he overate again, but he did not eat much more than the girls, but his digestion could be slow and he had a later breakfast...... Who knows, right?!  Anyway, on a positive note he said he had to go potty (ca-ca) and so I went and pulled out the potty chair and it took him a while but he did go a little tinkles in it!  We cheered loudly and praised him a lot for it!!

The one thing I am finding is that these things don't solve quickly.  They take a lot of time, a lot of patience, a lot of work.  Believe me, I don't have half the patience I need to deal with it all but I find myself on my knees quite a bit!