R & R

Rest and relaxation.  That is what my hubby and I have been needing for the two of us.  Time to make sure we are on the same page, time to prioritize, time to put our marriage first.  It hasn't always been first.  Well, after God, that is!  

I have done a lot of reminiscing lately because the 27th of this month marks when Eden arrived at the airport and joined our family.  That is another post in it's own, but for now, let's just say that it feels like we have run a marathon this past year in terms of parenting.  I like what some one told me, that before you commit to adopt, just make sure you are gearing up for a marathon, not just a sprint!  Maybe it puts into perspective so many things because I tend to get impatient that I am not seeing more of the desired results, yet when I think it has only been one year...... Let's just hope the most challenging year is almost behind us!

This summer proved to be a huge challenge with Cade working so many long hours.  There was so much time that I truly had to be the primary disciplinarian.  I had to be sure I was consistent.  My "newbies" needed it even more than my bio kids, because they came from a lot of inconsistency in their early lives.  I also felt like I had to always appear happy and easy-going because my "newbies" were / still are so sensitive to my emotions and they react violently when anything seems to be a little off par!  

Anyway, hunting season followed the summer busy days and that meant that most of the extra time Cade had off from work was spent hunting because he loves it and it is like therapy for him!  I "tried" to be supportive, but there is only so much you can handle when you feel like you are being stretched so many ways, too thin!!  Something has to give, right?!  It came down to making a comittment that Cade and I could have the time that WE desperately need to have down time together, just be together.

An interesting story is that a couple of weeks ago, Eden came home telling a story about this girl in her class that was all upset and "getting attention" (as Eden saw it) because her mommy and daddy were fighting and this little girl was going to have to leave the school so she could stay with her mom.  Our kids are well acclimated to this kind of thing, especially down the river here, but this just through Eden for a loop!  She told Cade and I both about it and that they had a long talk about it at school.  However, I knew there was some reason this kept coming up!  I asked her what the problem was for Eden.  She told me first that it wasn't right that this little girl was getting attention.  I redirected her focus on feelings she had for the girl.  Did she feel sorry for her, that she did not have a very good life at home where her mom and dad where always fighting... etc?!  Thankfully, she did!  She had even told her kind words that she would be missed!  Finally, though, she got to the point.  She was worried that this could happen in our home.  She was sobbing when her fears surfaced that she always wanted her mom and dad to be together!  Anyway, I had some time to explain to her that is why Mommy and Daddy also have to make time for just the two of them!  First of all, Mom and Dad have to take care of each other and love each other so together we can love every one of our children!!  

The significance of this story is that Cade and I have been "planning" a trip together far away.  I wondered if she had picked up any vibes, because we had been careful to be quiet about it in front of the kids.  However, the word is now out.  Mom and Dad are taking a trip to be together.  Today I made the final arrangements and I am so elated!!  Just so excited for just my hubby and I to have TEN DAYS ALL TO OURSELVES!!!!  (Call it a belated anniversary present, hubby of mine!)  Our anniversary is Nov. 16th and it will be 16 years for us!!

So, now is your turn to take a guess.  Where do you think we are going?

Yes, we are already dealing with worries / fears / questions from Eden about what will happen with her when we both are away...!  You can be sure of that!