Excitement Overload

There has been much excitement at our house and much talk!!  Yesterday Eden and Bella were fighting, so I sat them both down on the couch for time out.  (That means that Eden is feeling better!)  I realized that both of the girls were probably feeling my stress with last minute planning, packing, etc, not to mention changes about to happen in our household!  It is no small thing.  I let the girls help me repack Bereket's suitcase.  

We have been talking for some time about going back to Ethiopia to get Bereket, so both Eden and Clarabella were very accepting and excited.  I was telling the girls how that Daddy and Mommy were both going to fly to Ethiopia to get Bereket and they would stay with Grandma Shirley.  Eden asked me if we were going to KVI (her orphanage.)  I told her no, because Bereket is not at KVI, but a different place (we don't use the word orphanage.)  Then she asked if she was going back to KVI.  I wondered if she missed the kids and nannies there and wanted to see them again so I asked her if she wanted to go back and she said very quickly and loudly, "NO!  Me love it here.  I stay!!"  Only afterwards did I realize that it may have sounded like I was asking her if she wanted to go back to KVI to stay again!  When you think of it, that is what happened to her.  She had a fairly stable environment with her Aunt and then was taken to KVI!!  I assured her that we loved her in our home and she was staying!!

I have been so busy getting ready to fly out tomorrow, that my emotions have been put on hold.  I supposed I have been putting on a front for some time with the fears I have been fighting.  Today when I printed out an invoice from our agency, it read, "  This is your final foster fees invoice."  I had to hold back the tears!!  It is really happening!!  I was packing his clothes (hoping they still fit him) and thought, "I really am going to hold him in a couple days!!!"  Reading every one's comments pushed my emotions to the surface and I thought to myself, "All of these people have been thinking and praying for you, Bereket!!"  It means so much to me!!  

I am going to have a hard time being away from my other kiddos.  I know I will miss them all so much!!  Okay, maybe it is time to let the dam break and just let the tears fall.  "No, I tell myself.  There is time for that.  Not now!"  I know myself too well.  I always feel I have to be strong, for my kids, for my hubby. There have been other experiences, like when Kohlie was fighting cancer and I operated sometimes without emotion (detached), because I felt it was the only way I would be able to survive.  I realize this has been the same in the past months!!  The pain I have been through after getting so attached to Bereket in June is something I compare to with losing a child.  Granted, we didn't lose him, but there was a very real fear within because I had lost a child and it is very real to me.  I am ready to live again and enjoy each day with all of my six chillins!!  Maybe going through this experience will help me to be more thankful in the future.  That is definitely what I said about losing Kohlie.  
These are the latest pictures we received of Bereket.  Is he not the sweetest little guy?!!!

 

One last picture to show our snow and 2 sweetie pies!!!  Eden is really finding her place in this family.  What a big sister she is going to be to Bereket!!