SUMMER DAYS

While we are enjoying these summer days (and, yes, summer has finally come!), I have been thinking of the challenges we face with summer days around here.  I have read on many blogs of the challenges that summer days pose for children from "hard places" but my children are not from "hard places" and they still can be challenging.  First of all is just the adjustment of being home more of the time and not having a set schedule.  For Bella, I especially noticed the adjustment for her last summer and I do have to say that she is doing better this summer with the adjustment. 
We have had extra cousins around a lot lately and that, for the most part, is a real fun treat.  Today was a great dose of reality as it is just the kids and I and I had a list of chores to get done.  This was / is our outside work day of the week, which means, weed eat, mow, etc!  Really, I have to say my kids help out a lot, but that is because I demand their help.  How they help out and with what kind of attitude they bring is their choice and lately, it just seems like the attitudes have not been making our home a very lovely place to be.
I have been thinking for some time now that it just seems like the kids get into habits easily that are not very productive habits.  I have to admit, sometimes I just cringe of thinking of bringing two more kids into our home, not because of the extra workload, necessarily, but more because I see so often so many things that my children, Cade and I need to work on / changes that should be made!  I take responsibility, because I know that our children learn best from example.  Pointedly, the things that I have been seeing lately are rude remarks, strife, competition, and disrespect and I know that all of these things are great at tearing a family apart!!  They do not in any way produce a loving, safe, and secure atmosphere in our home.
I have had many talks with the kids and so often when I get into a good, long "talk" with the kids, I remember how Dad would do the same thing and go on and on about the same thing over and over and when he was done I was zoned out since after he made the point once, I decided I got it and moved on to something more enjoyable (in my brain).  So, I wonder how beneficial these "talks" really are.  I try to keep them short and very direct and to the point!  Today, at lunch time, though, I had a different "talk" with the kids about this same subject that has been bothering me.
I told them we need to establish 3 golden rules for our family and I am going to start a reward system.  (We used a reward system this past school year with jars and "gems" to put in from chores, with each chores gaining so many gems.  When a child's jar would get full, they would get to choose to go on a date with Mom and Dad, have a friend over for a night of play date, or get $20.  This worked well, but this summer we are taking a break.)  Anyway, after talking with the kids these were the three golden rules that we chose.  #1.  Love each other. #2  Show respect.  #3.  Honesty.
Then, we talked in detail about each one.  The kids laughed when I told them to describe ways to show you love each other, but it was good to be reminded again for them :  showing affection (hugging, patting on the back, ect), caring, acts of kindness such as complimenting each other, making someone else's bed for them, etc!  Anyway, Cyrus suggested that it should be a group effort between the kids (only one jar) which means that Mom and Dad will be the ones to be putting gems in when we observe them showing love, respect, and honesty.  On the other hand, we can take gems out if they are doing the opposite of these things!!  So, the kids and I are gearing up for this and really, it is just to make them AWARE of how they are acting and encouraging them in being more loving, respectful, courteous to each other and Mom and Dad!!
This was what happened after the chores were done today:
SLIP n' SLIDE!!

 Great face expressions!!

 Treva

 Cyrus!!

 So thirsty!

 So pretty after the yard work is done!!