I'm quiet here on my blog. Although this is my place to write and share there is a lot I feel I can't share right now..... not right now! Here is a tidbit though!
Cade and I will live with our consequences of parenting. As most of my blog readers are aware, we are very definitely sure and aware of this as well!! WE have to do what WE feel is best and right for our children's outcome!! A point that I want to make again here on my blog land is that you can not EVER fully see the whole picture of anything unless you are living it, so this proves again that there is no benefit to rash judgement, or judgement at all!! Why are we as humans so quick to judge one another? What does that benefit ourselves?!!! Not one thing!!!
I will be honest and say that there have been things that were spoken to me lately that have been extremely hard. Eden is struggling. That could be apparent to the outward eye. The truth is, as she becomes more secure in our home, she is facing deeper demons in her heart and it is becoming more apparent that there was much more trauma that she faced in Ethiopia than we were ever aware of. Also, as she becomes more secure in our home and in our love, she is feeling something deeper and bigger than she has ever felt before (and now I am sure of that) and that is the love and security of a family forever but she also has huge fears that she could lose it (because that has happened before in her short life). The truth is, no individual (especially at her young age) should EVER have to make the decisions that she is facing and that is to be a part of our family and to COMPLETELY embrace us as her family and COMPLETELY trust us with her innermost feelings as we are encouraging and hoping she will do! It is no small thing. It is HUGE!! What we are dealing with in our home is HUGE but God can move mountains!
As Eden's mother, it is agonizing to watch! I want to take all her hurt away and heal but I know it takes time. Nine months is NOT VERY MUCH TIME, especially when you are talking of a seven year old who spent her first five years in a different country with a whole different culture. Please, if you are taking the time to read this and you WANT to know and understand a little more, just please think of Eden and our family..... As many of you mothers understand, a struggling child also means a struggling Momma and it effects our whole family!! Our hearts are breaking for her but there is also joy in my heart that she KNOWS she doesn't want to lose us because the love for our family is in her heart!!
12 comments:
Although I do not know you I do know the heart of a mother and how much it hurts when your child hurts, feels threatened, insecure or even hiding behind a behavior to protect their little inner being. Growing up is hard in the best condition...thanks for sharing a bit of your lives with us.
Although I do not know you I do know the heart of a mother and how much it hurts when your child hurts, feels threatened, insecure or even hiding behind a behavior to protect their little inner being. Growing up is hard in the best condition...thanks for sharing a bit of your lives with us.
Thinking of you all so very much. Not knowing the struggles that are involved in situations you've never lived through has been a real lesson to me this last year and half. The compassion and care you and your family will have for others will be huge compared to those who've never been through what you're going through. Yep, God is the one that will pull you all through. Keep a strong faith and lots of prayers will be being said and for Eden especially! May God do his work.
My dear Angela. We are all just doing the best we can. Sometimes we feel compelled to give advise when we don't know what we're talking about (myself included!). Sound familiar? Think of poor Job and all that miserable comfort his friends gave him. They meant well, but oh my... I know it's hard, but sometimes we just have to take what applies and leave the rest. I have a feeling that whoever this was didn't have ill intentions and probably loves you all very much. Still not fun to be on the receiving end. Keep the knees bent (know you are!) and love 'em all up. Every last one of them. Eden is facing mountains, and I'm glad she's facing them with you. Hugs.
Nine months is only the beginning of healing from trauma, emotional and/or otherwise. Never is it easy, even in the best of circumstances. Hugs, and thinking of you all as requested.
Do you have any assistance from the place where Eden lived? Are you in contact with them? Does Eden have any contact at all with the people she knew? Do they correspond with her?
The poor lass must be heart-broken, maybe homesick and have such a 'fitting -in' burden upon her.
Such a sadness for a wee girl
You r right Lani!! Thanks!
No, we cannot be in touch unless it goes through our agency unfortunately. However, Eden has wrote letters to her aunt & other friends & family over there!! It seems to help her.
she looks so happy with you guys, and she watches everything you do! She still remembers her old life more than her new one right now! Time will heal that! She looks so pretty and loved, and that is the best thing you can do. Remember God made it possible for her to be in your home, He will also make it possible for her to learn to love him and heal her heart.
Keep up the good work!
Why should Eden have to go through an agency to be in touch with her kith and kin?
She did not ask to be removed from her family to be part of yours.
As an adoptee myself, I can relate to her heart-break.
Nothing much too add, as we've been in the place as you. It took Ryelynn 4 years to feel secure in our home and she was only 19 months old. Joseph was 6 when he came home and it's going to take much longer. No words of wisdom. I can only say i understand
Thank you for that, Stacie!! It helps to know others understand!!!! I have thought often of you eith Joseph since he joined your family not too much before Eden & they are close in age!!!
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