On a Roller Coaster

The emotional roller coaster called ADOPTION!!
Well, I certainly am not very dedicated to this blogging stuff, but I am trying to get a "feel" for it so that when the time comes & I really want to use it, I can efficiently do just that!! What is new at our house? Well, it doesn't appear to be much, besides the kids are getting older & yeah, Cade & I too!! We have been on the emotional roller coaster in our adoption journey but nothing has compared to what it has been like in the past month!! About 3 weeks ago we got a call about 6 yr. old twin boys. Our coordinator wanted to know if we were even intersted (our age parameters are 0-5 yr.) but we felt that we wanted to be open, so after much talking we told Brett (the coordinator) that we would like to know more details. That is when she told us that she, too, had just found out more details. Those were, that one of the boys is HIV+ and also tested positive for TB AND they have a 14 yr. old sister at the same oprhanage. That is when a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders, because my prayer was answered. God made it very clear that these were not the children we were waiting for. This week, we get another call about 2 siblings who were referred as 4 yr old boy & 6 yr old girl. After the doctor gave them a medical exam, she said their ages were more like 5 yrs old & 7 yrs old. While their age alone was not a deciding factor, I did influence our decision. When you start thinking about school age children, it adds a whole new dimension to the picture! Both of the children were pleasant looking children & healthy from all reports. Now we have little faces and names that go with those faces and you have to make a decision that is NOT based on emotion because is will forever influence our lives. The children have been completely clued in as to what is going on & are aware, but then, I feel thankful for their little prayers that can only help..... The next morning I call our cooridnator & tell her that neither Cade or I feel confident these are the children we have been waiting for. She told me tha tis as good of an answer that we need. My heart is wrenching, but I feel peace & that gives me confidence that we did make the right choice. We are back in the waiting game for the right faces, the right names!!